I need a break from my own thoughts

It hurts a lot

If I can't see you, my heart will never forget you

Killing me inside

Are you there?

This exhaustion is not simply resolved by sleeping

It seems like everything I do is wrong or not enough

So tired of being nice only to get treated like shit

Hell is empty and all the devils are here

You are my gravity

The beauty in things you once thought were ordinary

I'll leave tomorrow's problems to tomorrow's me

A dream that would not come true

It can only be a a longing dream

It can only be a hopeless wish

It can only be a unrequited desire

It can only be an unanswered question

It can only be an unobtainable target

It can only be an untouchable star

It can only be an unreachable destination

It can only be an impossible to win battle

It can only be a dream that would not come true

Treat You Better

I won't lie to you

I know he's just not right for you

And you can tell me if I'm off

But I see it on your face

When you say that he's the one that you want

And you're spending all your time

In this wrong situation

And anytime you want it to stop

I know I can treat you better than he can

And any girl like you deserves a gentleman

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than he can

I'll stop time for you

The second you say you'd like me too

I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing

Baby, just to wake up with you

Would be everything I need and this could be so different

Tell me what you want to do

'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can

And any girl like you deserves a gentleman

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than he can

Better than he can

Give me a sign

Take my hand, we'll be fine

Promise I won't let you down

Just know that you don't

Have to do this alone

Promise I'll never let you down

'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can

And any girl like you deserves a gentleman

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than he can

Better than he can

Better than he can

Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better

Music speaks what words cannot express

Falling apart

I'm tired of being nice

Don't force someone to make time for you

Most people are dangerous

The more fun I have, the more it'll hurt

Never good enough

I will never be good enough.

Because in your eyes, I am never good enough.

No matter what I do, or how much effort I put in,

it's just not good enough for you.

You only choose to complain, focus on the negative and belittle the things I do.

You choose to talk bad about me instead of praising my good.

You choose to ignore the things that should be appreciated.

You don't show your appreciation or notice the things I do.

And that is why I will never be good enough for you

or good enough for them

or good enough for anyone.

They only like me when I am somebody else

If you look closely

If you look closely, you can see my smile is a little too fake,

my laughter is a little too forced,

my voice is a little too uneasy,

my breath is a little too uneven,

my body a little too restless,

my hands a little too shaken,

my eyes a little too dim,

and my face a little too sad,

Not fighting for it

Continuing my life when I wanted to die

Rock Bottom

What are we fighting for?

Seems like we do it just for fun

In this, this stupid war

We play hard with our plastic guns

Breathe deep, bottle it up

So deep until it's all we got

Don't speak, just use your touch

Don't speak before we say too much

You hate me now and I feel the same way

You love me now and I feel the same way

Scream and we shout

And make up the same day, same day

Oh, we're on the right side of rock bottom

And I hope that we keep falling

We're on the good side of bad karma

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

We're on the right side of rock bottom

And to you I just keep crawling

You're the best kind of bad something

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

You get under my skin

More than anyone's ever been

But when we lay in bed

You hold me harder till I forget

You hate me now and I feel the same way

You love me now and I feel the same way

Scream and we shout

And make up the same day, same day

Oh, we're on the right side of rock bottom

And I hope that we keep falling

We're on the good side of bad karma

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

We're on the right side of rock bottom

And to you I just keep crawling

You're the best kind of bad something

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

Keep on coming back for more

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

What are we fighting for?

Seems like we do it just for fun

In this, this stupid war

We play hard with our plastic guns

Oh, we're on the right side of rock bottom

And I hope that we keep falling

We're on the good side of bad karma

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

We're on the right side of rock bottom

And to you I just keep crawling

You're the best kind of bad something

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

Keep on coming back for more

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

Keep on coming back for more

'Cause we keep on coming back for more

Hailee Steinfeld ft . DNCE - Rock Bottom

Music speaks what words cannot express

The Town Without Me

When I get bigger, big enough to go somewhere by myself, I want to go to a land that’s far away.

I want to go to a faraway island. I want to go to an island that has no people.

I want to go to an island that has no pain or sadness.

On that island, I can climb a tree when I want to climb, swim in the sea when I want to swim, and sleep when I want to sleep.

When I think about the town without me, I feel a sense of relief.

I want to go far, far away.

The Town Without Me by Hinazuki Kayo

Say Something

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one if you want me to

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I... am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I... will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I... will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-Ooh)

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something...

A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - Say Something

Music speaks what words cannot express

I don't feel

I love you, but I forgot to love myself

I took care of you, but I forgot to look after myself.

I worried about you, but I forgot to worry about my own things.

I put you as my priority, but I forgot other important things that I have.

I helped you the best I can, but I forgot that I needed someone to help me too.

I was there for you, but I forgot that I needed someone to be by my side too.

I gave you the things you want and need, but I forgot that I have my own needs too.

I prayed for your safety and health, but I forgot that I was also human.

I helped you with the problems you face, but I forgot that I faced obstacles too.

I stood by your side through your difficult times, but I forgot to face my own difficulties.

I encouraged you with your decisions, but I forgot that I needed support too.

I put myself in your shoes and considered your feelings, but I forgot that I had my own opinions and feelings too.

I love you, but I forgot to love myself.

So tired

Mask

Never okay

I lost my smile

I lost my ability to laugh

I lost my desire for jokes

I lost my mind to be positive

I lost my strength to fight

I lost my will to be hopeful

I lost my feeling to be happy

I lost my smile

When you encounter happiness, who is the first person you want to tell?

Whose face comes into your mind?

There is something in this world that nobody has seen yet

The introvert

I woke up into a nightmare

Wherever You Are

For a while we pretended

That we never had to end it

But we knew we'd have to say goodbye

You were crying at the airport

When they finally closed the plane door

I could barely hold it all inside

Torn in two

And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are

You

Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are

I could fly a thousand oceans

But there's nothing that compares to

What we had, and so I walk alone

I wish I didn't have to be gone

Maybe you've already moved on

But the truth is I don't want to know

Torn in two

And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are

You

Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are

You can say we'll be together

Someday

Nothing lasts forever

Nothing stays the same

So why can't I stop feeling this way

Torn in two

And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are

You

Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are

5 Seconds of Summer - Wherever You Are

Music speaks what words cannot express

Thank you for the borrowed but limited time where forever is found

It feels like living a life of a happy kid.

No worries, no stress, no pressure.

No rushing, no hurry, no urgency.

In this short and limited time frame, it feels like living someone else's life.

Every second that the clock tick sounds precious.

Every hour that passes moves closer to a deadline.

Every day numbered.

It feels like living a dream that has to come to an end.

A dream too good to be true, and too short to last.

It is just a countdown to the moment where the dream ends.

So thank you for the borrowed but limited time.

Where forever is found.

The distance that separates us

I can only stare.

I can only watch.

I can only observe.

Bounded and constrained by boundaries, responsibilities and fear.

Powerless and helpless to draw any closer.

I stand motionless.

Unable to break free from these bonds.

Unable to break through the crowd.

Unable to close the distance.

The distance that separates us.

Grew up

There was once a happy child,

But he grew up.

Losing myself by loving too much

I've lost my mind

What would you do

Grateful

Far out of reach

Watching from afar

Staring from a distance

Blocked by the crowds

Unable to close the gap

Unable to narrow the distance

Unable to grasp

Far out of reach

No one is going to be there

How you treat people ultimately tells all

We are all broken

Again & Again

Lie down on ground, to talk to bright sky

A shooting star dashed through the deep sky

Blurred eyes with tears caught your heart and so

Never turn back

Like playful mind of a child, we are changing

Fly with invisible wings together now

Your temperature is a little below normal

But we can feel warm

In a secret terminal

At the ticket gate in the crowd

Hello, goodbye

Again and again

See into the future

With a telescope

Stay here

Plastic Memories - Again & Again

Music speaks what words cannot express

Nothing makes one happier than being with the one you love

Not antisocial

Broken clock

Death comes for us all in the end

RIP

Being alone but not being lonely

When We Were Young

Everybody loves the things you do

From the way you talk

To the way you move

Everybody here is watching you

Cause you feel like home

You're like a dream come true

But if by chance you're here alone

Can I have a moment

Before I go?

Cause I've been by myself all night long

Hoping you're someone I used to know

You look like a movie

You sound like a song

My God, this reminds me

Of when we were young

Let me photograph you in this light

In case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were

Before we realized

We were sad of getting old

It made us restless

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

I was so scared to face my fears

Cause nobody told me that you'd be here

And I swear you moved overseas

That's what you said, when you left me

You still look like a movie

You still sound like a song

My God, this reminds me

Of when we were young

Let me photograph you in this light

In case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were

Before we realized

We were sad of getting old

It made us restless

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

When we were young

When we were young

When we were young

When we were young

It's hard to admit that

Everything just takes me back

To when you were there

To when you were there

And a part of me keeps holding on

Just in case it hasn't gone

I guess I still care

Do you still care?

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

My God, this reminds me

Of when we were young

When we were young

When we were young

When we were young

When we were young

Let me photograph you in this light

In case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were

Before we realized

We were sad of getting old

It made us restless

I'm so mad I'm getting old

It makes me reckless

It was just like a movie

It was just like a song

When we were young

Adele - When We Were Young

Music speaks what words cannot express

Trying to live my life and trying to run from it

Summary of 2015