Feelings that are not mutual

So here I am, blogging again, when my heart can no longer handle it.

I wonder if you will ever read this. I'm not going to tell you about this post, because although it is about you, I am not sure whether I would want you to read it.

Then again, even if you do read it, you wouldn't be able to understand it fully without my explanations XD

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Sometimes, I am tempted to give up. Not because I want to, but because you don't seem to want me like how I want you.

Sometimes, when I give everything, when I am willing to sacrifice everything and risk everything for you, I started to expect you to do the same for me.

These expectations often lead to disappointments.

And because of that, I often wonder if what I am doing is right.

Often, I have to remind myself that just because you are everything to me, the feeling is not necessary mutual for you.

I realized that I am always lining behind a long queue to reach you. And I don't like that at all =(

You know I am selfish and I get jealous easily.

Then again, I realized that you are not mine.

Sometimes, I wonder whether it is worth it to do so much and get nothing in return. But then, I think of you and I am ready to go all out again.

You will still be my number 1 priority, even if I am not at the top for you.

I don't care if I'm invisible to everyone. All I want is to be noticed by you.

I̶̶ ̶̶l̶̶i̶̶k̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶. I love you ♥

I'm still waiting and wishing for my dream to become a reality.